Friday, January 30, 2004

Raging Egotism

In light of recent events in my life, it has come to my attention that the world does not, indeed, revolve around me. As of late, I seem to have forgotten that while people may be stressed and short, non-responsive to emails and pleas to go out and have fun, the rest of Haverford's campus might not be quite so nonchalant with regards to their senior year as I have been.

I haven't even looked at either thesis since December, and am about to break my academic fast with an overview and intense editing session this afternoon, which honestly frightens me. I was so relieved to have them off and turned in, out of my hands for a while, that now when it's time to get my hands dirty again, it is so hard to get started. Especially since the receptions of my mentors to said documents were not, shall we say, excessively enthusiastic. Sigh, oh well. In the meantime there's not much that I can do but play some loud music and crank up the bass until the plate on my desk rattles with the same rumbling irritation that I feel.

The process of melting and re-freezing has turned the once beautiful hood and front grill of the van into a snotty mess of icicles. It looks like the front headlights are nostrils with this nasty sinus infection or something, it's really sad.

That said, my faithful little chariot has been more than helpful these first two weeks at school (god, has it already been two weeks?), and I would not have even had the opportunities to get groceries for the steamy hearty dinner that I made last night if it weren't for me four wheeled insulated heat bubble of transport. Creamy leek and potato soup decadently dressed with (gasp) real bacon, and white cheddar risotto were just what I needed after 20+ minutes digging the car out of its parking space on Ardmore Ave. That, plus the Renoir film on the 'big' screen in Chase, made Thursday night an atypically good one. As I walked home from a slight detour up to the North Dorms, circa 12:30 am, I was scandalized to see people coming out of the Science Library. Who on earth was doing work on at Thursday? I'm certainly not doing work tonight.

Then I realized that I used to do work every Thursday night, and a few Fridays as well. What on earth has happened to my work ethic? Am I really that burnt out of writing and such, or is it just that I haven't gotten back into the swing of things yet? I hope, for my theses' sake, that it's the latter. Otherwise, I just might be fucked, even if I am enjoying life =). In the meantime, I'll continue to put off reading until the morning of class, watch LOTR dvd's and worry more about getting in a workout and homecooked meal into every day instead of how many pages I've got left to write, and whether or not my departments will let me write an Honors thesis. Taking bets as to how long this casually disinterested attitude will hold up, if anyone's interested.